Standup Eight
This was a draft I've written sometime ago, probably around December 2021.
Whenever I have a bad day, or something shitty happens and everything just refuses to go the way I planned, I usually resort to one of two things.
I either go outside and run until I completely lose myself in the moment, or I sit down and write whatever's going through my head.
Unfortunately, there's a storm expected to make landfall in our area, and I didn't exactly want to end up stranded somewhere once the heavy rain started pouring.
I did manage to do some rope skipping in the pool area in my building earlier.
And while I was balancing myself between steps, my mind somehow decided to play a continuous slideshow of everything that happened during the past six months.
As with every start of a new year, we tend to be optimistic that the next 365 days will bring something better.
At least, that's how I imagined 2021 would be.
I wasn't expecting everything to suddenly return to normal, of course. We were still in the middle of a pandemic, and going outside without masks was still pretty far from reality.
Countries had started opening up and easing some restrictions as vaccines were being rolled out, although there were still plenty of limitations everywhere.
People were getting vaccinated here too, just at a much slower pace, with priority being given to those who needed it most.
No complaints from me there.
We were able to register for vaccination through our local government, so all we really had to do was wait until our turn came.
Anyway.
Going back.
I finished my first #100DaysOfCode Challenge on February 14.
Feeling victorious, I decided to immediately start another round.
The next day became Day 1 again.
Then Day 2.
Day 3.
There were some bumps along the way, but I kept going. Then someone reached out to me about an opportunity for a new role at their company. I wasn't really serious about moving at the time, but I figured there was no harm in entertaining it.
A recruiter called me and we went through a short screening.
I wasn't really prepared, so I probably missed a few important points that I should've mentioned.
They never called back after that.
And honestly, I was still fine with it because two more companies reached out shortly afterward.
I didn't admit it at the time, but those calls definitely fed my ego a little.
I knew they were probably looking for someone with a lot more experience, and I still saw myself as somewhere around the middle of the talent spectrum.
I've learned a lot from working across different industries during the past five years, but I also know I'm still a long way from being an expert.
Still, I decided to take my chances.
I went through the phone screenings, revamped my profile, updated everything, and started submitting applications.
Then I got hooked on all the after-work meetings and interviews with different prospects.
Eventually, I stopped my #100DaysChallenge and focused on those meetings instead.
The Two Almosts
I got pretty far in the process with two different companies.
One role focused on infrastructure automation using AWS.
The other was a Docker and Kubernetes support role.
Both looked promising.
Both showed interest.
I carefully weighed my chances with each one, and after several conversations with my wife, I decided I was ready to step out and move on to something new.
At that point, there was really only one thing left to do. Wait.
So I waited.
Then a week passed.
The support role finally sent an offer.
Unfortunately, the offer was lower than what I expected, and I didn't want to leave the opportunity I already had in my current job just to move somewhere else for almost the same deal.
I had good conversations with three different team leads, and they gave me the impression that they genuinely wanted me to join.
Unfortunately, the recruiter eventually came back and told me that they would no longer be proceeding with my application.
That one hurt a little.
Of course, I understand that a company has every right to reconsider if they no longer think the move makes sense for them.
I raised my concern with the person I'd been coordinating with for more than a month, but I already had a feeling that it was the end of the line.
So I thanked her for all the help she'd given me and moved on.
Besides, I still had one more opportunity waiting.
Or at least, I thought I did.
The second one dragged on for almost two months and involved a lot of follow-ups.
Every time I checked, I was told that management was still reviewing everything.
So I waited. And waited.
By this point, I had already stopped entertaining other potential employers because I had pretty much locked myself onto this one opportunity.
I knew I shouldn't make plans around a decision that could still change.
But I felt good about how the technical panel interview went.
Three weeks became five.
Five became seven.
On the eighth week, I reached out to my friend who worked there and had referred me for the role.
I asked if he had heard anything from the recruiter.
He got the exact same response I'd been getting.
Then the following week, he messaged me.
The recruiter had decided to put my profile on hold for now.
That one really felt devastating.
With both opportunities gone, I was back at square one.
I've experienced a lot of rejections before.
And when I say a lot, I mean a lot.
I've probably spent hundreds, maybe even thousands, of hours going through applications and interviews since graduating from college.
But these two?
Damn.
They felt different.
Stand up five
I tried going back to my normal day-to-day routine.
I'll admit that it wasn't easy getting those two could-have-beens out of my system.
Then I got sick.
Twice.
I was losing a lot of fluids and became so weak that I could barely function for almost a week each time.
I didn't want to think too much about it because I eventually recovered after taking medication, but during those two periods, I spent most of my time lying in bed.
No running.
No workouts.
Nothing.
My body was basically on downtime.
I eventually recovered physically.
The anxiety bubbling underneath everything, though?
That didn't disappear quite as easily.
Stand up six
Eventually, another call came in.
And this time, I took home the gold.
There was still a lot of back-and-forth thinking before I finally told my teams at my current job that I'd be stepping out and heading in a different direction.
Everyone was incredibly kind about it.
My teammates and team leads were warm, generous, and supportive.
Honestly, if it were possible, I probably would've brought some of my teammates with me.
Change is hard.
Change is uncomfortable.
But sometimes, change is necessary if you want to grow.
Stand up seven
A few days before my final week at work, I got sick again.
This time, it was my eyes.
I won't go too much into the details, but it took a pretty serious toll on my productivity.
Around the same time, I tried restarting my #100DaysOfCode Challenge again.
And once again, I had to abandon it because I was simply too disoriented with everything happening around me.
Then, as if life hadn't already thrown enough at us, my wife was diagnosed with nodules in two different parts of her body.
Naturally, we were worried.
We were hoping the doctor would simply advise us to monitor them for now or prescribe some medication.
Instead, we were told that the lumps needed to be removed.
What followed was an entire afternoon of rushing from one place to another to get laboratory tests done and submit all the necessary documents.
The following day, we found ourselves inside a hospital room.
Fortunately, our health card covered the expenses.
At that point, the only thing we really had to worry about was how the surgery would go.
Stand up eight
It's been almost four days since we left the hospital and came back home.
My wife is much stronger now, although her stitches are still healing.
My eyes are recovering too.
If the weather cooperates, I might finally try running again tomorrow morning.
And somewhere in the middle of everything that happened, I also managed to pass the AWS SysOps Associate certification exam.
I'm now on Day 3 at my new job.
Six months ago, I probably wouldn't have believed anyone who told me this was how my first week at a new company would look.
Starting a new job while being completely occupied with things happening at home.
I've always told myself that whenever I enter a new environment, I want to give it my full and undivided attention.
Well.
So much for that plan.
As much as it sucked to have the previous months throw one blow after another, I can't really say they were the worst days of our lives.
We've been through worse.
We definitely took a beating, though.
But we got through it, didn't we?
Man, those speed bumps forced me to slow down more times than I wanted.
Sometimes you don't really get a choice.
You slow down.
You regroup.
You refuel.
You catch your breath.
Whatever verb you want to use.
And strangely enough, sometimes the universe does seem to lend a hand when everything starts feeling too difficult to carry.
I don't expect things to suddenly become smooth sailing from here.
They probably won't.
What I do know is that I'll try to solve whatever can be solved.
Take the losses when needed.
Take the hits.
And then stand up.
At eight.
At nine.
Or at a hundred.
As many times as it takes.
If you've read up to this point, I'd like to give my utmost thanks.
I know this is usually an avenue for all things technical, but I just thought I'd share a side of myself that isn't only about work, studying, certifications, or programming.
Sometimes, there's also everything happening in between.